I am not a political idealist. I am not a theorist. I am a realist. This means I seek solutions not of what should be, or what I wish it to be, but what would actually work. What will be proposed here won't be too popular among you, or, for that matter, among many Americans. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but, since the world is apparently against you, there seems to be only two choices left: start a nuclear war or--well, keep reading.

First, let's look at the big picture. I'm not talking about that big picture that starts with King David, etc. Actually, I lose interest in the whole debate as soon as the date 70 AD comes up (as many have sought to lament us about). We've got Bibles here. Read the stories, yeah. We get the drift.

The big picture in this case is that, due to the Jews getting kicked out of virtually every country in which they've resided (so they tell me), Israel was created as a safe haven for Jews so that such evils as the Holocaust will never happen again.

Now, let's be honest. Do you feel safe in Israel right now? You know as well as the rest of us that it will only be a matter of time before those militant Islamic folks strap on explosives or something worse and continue their campaign of mass murder and terror against you. Sure, you could fight back, as well you should. But the strategy at work to destroy Israel is repeatedly proven to work. As everyone sits down to talk "peace," many of you are checking the real-estate market, wondering how much you can get for your property, and checking El Al Airlines for the price of tickets to a safer place.

No, you aren't being traitorous to your faith or to your people. You're thinking about what kind of society your children will be raised in. Many of you just don't trust your safety there in Israel anymore. You're being a realist. You thought you had the Great Protector over your land. That may be God, but certainly not the United States of America. Let me explain.

I wasn't around then, but maybe, in the beginning, it was a noble idea to give you Jewish folks a piece of land in the middle of the desert. You fought well to protect it. But this thing called "oil" happened. Rather than Israel and the West taking control of those oil-rich lands in the Middle East, we all somehow felt it was more nobel to allow the Muslim natives (your enemies) to control and profit from the oil. As the world became more dependent on crude oil, your safety and security somehow became less important as time went on. Sure, we could have simply pumped more oil here in America, and even made technological advances to become less dependent on oil. But the ecology kooks and environmentalist ideologues came along and U.S. energy policy became politically controversial, and still is today. Hence, your adversaries are now rich, powerful, and hell bent on your destruction.

As stated previously, your biggest problem has been with the United States government. Each time you were well on your way to vanquishing your Islamic enemies, America's need to maintain good relations with your enemies took precedence over Israel's right of self-defense and you were stalled once again. Take a look at a map of the area around you. That nine-mile strip really scares you, doesn't it? But think of how much area around you would be controlled by Israel if some American president didn't keep making a phone call ordering you to cease-fire--the Sinai, rhe West Bank, Gaza, all of Lebanon, etc.

Actually, when I saw one Andrew Shapieo, a Jewish kid from Brooklyn, having breakfast with Yasser Arafat, I pretty much knew your goose was cooked. This guy is considered a "dual citizen," partly of your country. As a nation, you're done, unless God steps in directly.

If He doesn't, let's look down the road. The recent political actions have proven that sending suicide bombers against innocent Jews (and even Arabs) works. When you respond, the Leftwingers (including some of your own people) complain to the U.S. government and--you know the drill. Now you'll never take the West Bank and Gaza, and you know that, when they want more of what you have left, they'll just send more disposable soldiers your way. Your enemy has solidified a base camp right in your back yard. No matter what kind of "peace treaty" your government and your adversary come up with, will you ever be able to trust those folks again?

Given the rate of technological advancement, it is only a matter of time (perhaps this generation) until the Islamic extremists operating in Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank acquire weapons of mass destruction. You know they will attempt to use those weapons against you. You'll have virtually no time to defend yourselves, and only the remote chance to react. Your enemy also has a higher birth rate, so there is also that "war of attrition" you'll have to deal with as well. They will eventually push you into the sea, and I regret that we may not be around to help you.

Here's a solution that may work best for everyone: LEAVE. Leave that parched, God-forsaken land you call "Israel" and the Arasbs call "part of Palestine."

That's right. Leave the Middle East. And come to America. We've got plenty of room here in the "good ole U.S.A." Even though some of you think that anti-Semitism is rampant here, you'll probably be safer here than anywhere else on earth. Furthermore, many of your surrogate organizations in the U.S.A. have unfairly labeled people here as anti-Semitic, Rightwing, anti-government extremists, but during your latest incursion, those same unfairly labeled folks were the only ones rooting for you.

Frankly, I think America could benefit from having you here. How about New Mexico? Arizona? Plenty of room there, and since you folks seem to take defending a national border a lot more seriously than does our government, there would be plenty for you to do there, dealing with the large numbers of illegal aliens sneaking across the border into the U.S.A. We have what is known as a "brain drain" here anyway, with many intelligent people leaving. You could help balance that, and we sure can use some more folks here who believe in the right to keep and bear arms.

Yes, I'm being selfish. I figure we can offer the Muslims in the Middle East the ultimate peace deal. We take all Israeli citizens into the U.S.A. and give them the opportunity to become American citizens. That sliver of parched land at the eastern end of the Mediterranean, bounded and threatened on three sides by the teeming Arab masses, will become "Palestine," or whatever the uncivilized barbarians in that area want to call it. We round up and ship over to Palestine the 300,000 Middle Easterners hidden somewhere in the U.S.A., waiting for orders to do Allah's work and murder more American "infidels." This peace deal should make everybody happy.

In order to make certain that Americans remain happly with the peace deal, the treaty, or agreement, legitimizing this arrangement will include a clause providing that, once the Israelis have been relocated in the U.S.A,, one more Islamic terrorist act of aggression against America, causing massive loss of life, will guarantee the destruction of major metropolitan areas in the Middle East. It's much easier to back up that statement if we don't have to worry about you Jewish folks being in the crossfire.

As for the land that you love and built from a dry desert, don't worry. If it's meant to be yours, someday it will be. You can trust that, once the Muslim masses take it all back, it won't be the same. They'll go back to fighting each other, possibly with weapons of mass destruction--which will be just fine by us.

But right now (and please don't call us "anti-Semitic" for saying this), keeping your butts in that kill-zone known as the Middle East just isn't worth World War IV, or an army of suicide bombers on our own soil. If living in the "Holy Land" means your people and ours are targeted by these freaks, then obviously, the land isn't that holy. Hey, it was a nice idea, but as they say, "who knew?"

Yes, I know this idea will be considered "unthinkable" and even cowardly. But heck, America has been populated by folks from overseas, and we know many of you came from here anyway. You can still have Saturday's off. We always had a problem staffing people on Sundays and Christmas anyway. A good part of New York, Los Angeles, and South Florida already celebrate your holidays. Unlike some other folks migrating here these days, you folks probably won't have a problem with speaking English. Plenty of beach, and I'll bet our CIA could learn a thing or two from your guys in the Mossad. Throughout history, radical problems have sometimes been solved by radical ideas. This idea is just that--pretty radical. This is called "thinking outside of the box," or more importantly, thinking past the next election, and hopefully preventing the next war.

This "crazy" proposal will sound less crazy and may become more popular with every suicide bomber taking action.

Think about it.

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