It simply couldn’t be. Even the most ardent Liberal Leftist professor simply wouldn’t have allowed for that kind of drivel to be viewed as anything more than a parody of what not to write and how not to think.

The professors list a number of characteristics which they have learned are necessary elements in a Conservative’s makeup. The professors needed to be sure to quantify and label all the parts of a person’s psyche so that, if it ever becomes necessary to politically sort out the population, they’ll be a good resource of knowledge.

Generally speaking, the professors studied long and hard, earned their reputations as critical thinkers, and found their place among the other intellectuals at some of Ameri- ca’s premier universities.

University of California--Berkeley Professor Jack Glaser’s interests, according to his own website include, “Prejudice, Stereotyping, and Discrimination; Intergroup Conflict and Hate Crime; Unconscious Affect and Cognition; Political Decision Making and Be- havior; Political Ideology.”

University of California--Berkeley Professor Frank J. Sulloway is very proud of himself. He even lists his Ph.D. at the bottom of his website in his copyright.

Professor John Jost lists his interests on his Stanford University website as, “Social stereotyping and prejudice, intergroup relations, distributive and procedural justice, and political psychology.”

Another professor, one from the University of Maryland, is part of the study. Suffice it to say, he thinks he is very smart, at least, from what could be gathered from his website. He seems to want everyone to think he is right about that observation.

Back to the “study.” A cursory reading of the study seems to indicate that, if these pro- fessors are as they purport to be and not in favor of stereotypes and discrimination, their students are in deep do-do. The paper they wrote stereotypes all Conservatives, and it does so by attributing Conservatives, all true Conservatives, with the same attributes most people would give to a mule.

The learned professors believe that, in order to be a Conservative like say, Jack Kemp, Bill Bennett, Ronald Reagan, Ann Coulter or William F. Buckley, you must share certain characteristics such as “avoidance of uncertainty.” In other words, Conservatives don’t believe in thinking things out. For the professors, everyone at Nike must be Conservative; after all, they, “just do it.”

Then the professors add as a Conservative attribute, “Hanging onto the status quo.” Apparently, the justices on the Supreme Court who determined that, the Constitution notwithstanding, racial quotas in law school admissions are OK are the real Conserva- tives because, we can’t change things just yet, and the socalled "Conservatives" who decried the use of race in any determinations of admission or hiring must be Liberals.

The professorss also explain why we, as Americans, really got upset over having a number of our airliners hijacked and rammed into buildings, killing thousands of Americans. It wasn’t because of all the dead and carnage. It wasn’t because we were attacked by terrorists. It wasn’t even because the crazies in Afghanistan declared war on America. Rather, it was because they “threaten the status of [our] cherished world views.”

And most folks thought we fight the terrorists because they are trying to kill us and will do so, if given the chance; tsk tsk, the professors know better. It is really because we are Conservatives who are obsessed with the status of being among the living and not wanting to get killed by folks who think, if they do, they get a ticket to heaven. Silly us.

The intellectuals teaching our young sons and daughters understand that the average American just isn’t bright enough to recognize the complexity of political discourse and why it is important to understand the underlying reasons why terrorists feel justified in mass murdering innocent men women and children.

The members of the Liberal Leftist elite realize all too well why the masses like a Republican administration at this critical time. “For a variety of psychological reasons, then, Rightwing Populism may have more consistent appeal than Leftwing Populism, especially in times of potential crisis and instability.”

It is just that they, the Leftist professors, don’t seem to understand what common sense, patriotism, loyalty, and love of country mean. In any case, the university professors continue on their journey to explain why they feel left out when people say they are proud to be American, by explaining that Castro, Stalin, and Khrushchev started out on the Left, but when they turned bad, by actually maintaining their power and exercised brutal tactics, they “steadfastly resisted change, allegedly in the name of egalitarianism.” In other words, they, the Communist leaders, became Conservatives.

However, according to America’s leading university professors, the true Conservatives, Hitler, Reagan and Rush Limbaugh, ostensibly always had the Conservative gene.

Not to worry though, the professors are clear that, although Conservatives resist thinking and try not to waste time figuring things out, “it doesn't mean that they're simple-minded.”

On the other hand, it would appear that the folks who wrote the paper on what consti- tutes a Conservative in the 21st century would no doubt find being called “simple-minded” a compliment.

Paul Walfield is a freelance writer and member of the State Bar of California, with an undergraduate degree in Psychology and post-graduate study in behavioral and analyt- ical psychology. He resided for a number of years in the small town of Houlton, Maine, and is now a California attorney. His articles appear in numerous periodicals and on numerous websites. He has been the featured guest on KTSA News Talk Radio. Walfield has his own website,USA NEWS & VIEWS, located at www.usanewsandviews.com. His email address is as follows: paul.walfield@usnewsandviews.com

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